These caffeine fiends need coffee to function. Here are some famous coffee addicts on television, ranked by how much coffee they drink.
Coffee is delicious. Whether it’s hot or cold, black or with cream, plain or with sugar. It’s one of those drinks that pretty much goes with everything, except perhaps honey. Coffee is not only a comfort drink, like tea, it’s an actual necessity to millions of people who find themselves unable to start their day without first taking a sip of their precious brewed drink.
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In the history of television, many characters have shown an almost obsessive taste for coffee, one they sometimes take to the next level. These caffeine fiends need coffee to function, and while it might not be entirely healthy for them, it’s a character trait that makes them all the more entertaining.
10 Manny Delgado, Modern Family
Manny is like a small adult trapped in a child’s body. He’s also a coffee connoisseur. Despite being quite young, and despite his family’s complaints about the matter, Manny enjoys and appreciates the brewed drink like few others do. He is constantly seen with an espresso cup, though he has a clear fondness for black coffee.
The fact that Manny is already hooked on caffeine means that his addiction will only increase as he grows older. One day, he might even find himself at the top of this list!
9 Dan Humphrey, Gossip Girl
In the book series, Dan enjoys drinking copious amounts of coffee and chain-smoking cigarettes. And while the latter didn’t make its way to The CW’s television adaptation, the former did. It’s never explicitly said out loud, but more often than not, Dan is shown drinking coffee.
He usually does it when writing, though he can also be found walking down the busy NYC streets with a coffee cup in hand. While his addiction is nowhere near as heavy as it is in the book, it’s still enough to grant him a spot on this list.
8 Philip J. Fry, Futurama
On an unforgettable episode of Fox’s comedy Futurama, Fry decides to buy 100 cups of coffee. As his binge continues, he overdoses on caffeine and acquires all the worst traits of a coffee addict. He becomes short-tempered, shaky, and almost paranoid.
When he finally reaches the hundredth cup, he enters a state of hyperactivity that allows him to move faster than everyone else. He saves everyone from a fire inadvertently started by one of Bender’s cigars. No one knows it was Fry who saved them, though, believing instead it was an orange blur,” His addiction lasts for one episode, but managing to drink 100 cups of coffee is no small feat.
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7 Nancy Botwin, Weeds
PTA soccer mom turned marijuana dealer Nancy Botwin loved iced coffee. Fabulously played by Mary Louise Parker in Showtime’s underrated gem, Weeds, Nancy spent the majority of the series indulging her obsession for iced coffee and Diet Coke. Once during an interview, Parker declared that Nancy probably drank four cups per day.
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A quirk of her character was holding the cup by the lid and chopping the plastic straw. The character did it so much that in fact, Parker herself began doing it in real life. Talk about life imitating art!
6 The Friends, Friends
These six characters spent so much time in Central Perk, that the orange couch was unofficially recognized as belonging to them. They actually spent more time in that coffee house than they did at work, something that Joey himself points out in one episode.
The infamously large coffee cups of Central Perk are once described by Phoebe’s psychiatrist boyfriend Roger as so big they “might as well have nipples on them.” And in all honesty, he was kind of right. They are absurdly large, cementing the notion that this group drank a lot of coffee.
5 Frasier And Niles Crane, Frasier
Taking place in the Emerald City meant that Frasier showcased the city’s notorious coffee culture. Premiering one year before Friends, Frasier also featured a coffee shop, Cafe Nervosa, where brothers Frasier and Niles Crane spent a lot of time in.
In a memorable episode, Frasier goes to a different coffee house and tries to order a large coffee, since he has a lot to think about. The barista, however, tells him that the shop doesn’t have a “large” size. Instead, they have “Piccolo,” “Macho,” “Mucho” and “Mucho Macho.” You can certainly guess who the show was poking fun at with those names.
4 Captain Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager
Now, this is particularly remarkable. Coffee is so powerful, its reach goes all the way to space! The captain of the USS Voyager, Janeway adores coffee and is not afraid to say it. She’s commonly seen holding cups of different shapes and sizes, all containing her favorite brewed drink.
The legendary captain once declared coffee “the finest organic suspension ever devised.” She stated the drink helped her get through the worst of the previous three years, and even credited it for her victory against the Borg.
3 Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks
David Lynch’s classic series Twin Peaks features Kyle MacLachlan as Special Agent Dale Cooper. Initially sent to investigate Laura Palmer’s assassination, he soon gets himself tangled in the community’s affairs, becoming quite close with its inhabitants.
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Dale is a very quirky character, with an offbeat sense of humor and a deep-rooted passion for “a damn fine cup of coffee,” which he prefers as “black as midnight on a moonless night.” He apparently had his first two cups at fifteen, after which he declared: “I believe I will consider this my first experience.” Quirky indeed.
2 The Gilmore Girls, Gilmore Girls
During the Netflix revival, Lorelai famously declares that she believes she was coffee in a former life. She needs coffee in an I.V. She lives for it, worships it. Several characters, including Luke and Richard, warn her about the dangers of overdrinking it, but she doesn’t care. Coffee is the hill Lorelai is willing to die on.
Similarly, Lorelai’s mother and daughter, Emily and Rory, share her addiction for the morning brew. Richard once remarks on how Emily drinks three cups of coffee every morning, while Rory’s fondness for the drink is very well documented. These girls might not always see eye-to-eye in everything, but when it comes to coffee, they’re all on the same boat.
1 Tweek, South Park
If there’s a character on this list whose dependency on coffee is quite literally out of his control, that’s Tweek. A nine-year-old who’s already hooked on caffeine, Tweek’s condition is rather sad. He shakes constantly, always grits his teeth, and hardly ever expresses any genuine happiness. Instead, he spends his days living in paranoia and borderline panic.
His parents certainly don’t help his unhealthy reliance, as they give him even more coffee whenever they think he needs to calm down. Tweek drinks the hot brew like water, signaling a very grim future for the boy that’s on par with South Park‘s brand of macabre humor.
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About The Author
David Caballero (15 Articles Published)
David is a twenty-eight-year-old Mexican writer and reader. Having studied Marketng in school, he spent three years working a nine-to-five desk job before deciding to pursue a writing career. He now works as a List Writer in ScreenRant and does some more freelancing job, talking about the entertainment business he so loves. Currently, he’s also writing his second novel while actively working to get his first one published.