What’s in a name? This treasure trove of CIAC athletes’ monikers

What’s in a name? This treasure trove of CIAC athletes’ monikers

While covering the Whalers, I once put together a “name game” of NHL players. Some 35 years later, a former player humored by the piece sent it out on social media.

Gave me an idea.

Kids play multi sports, so it isn’t an actual head count, but a total of 102,196 names fill rosters. So from Aafedt (Dylan, of Rockville) to Zyzdorf (Jack, of Granby), we present the 2021-22 CIAC Name Game.

Holly Begin.

All-Vowel MVP: Oo, Amy (S. Bernard).

All-Positive Team: Reid Sunshine. La’Joy Edwards. Chloe Smiley. Jacob Joy. Kate Glad. Sunny Lin.

All-Cumulus: Annabelle Cloud. Christian McCloud. Jean St. Cloud.

All-Continent: Asia Jones. Africa Wright. America Gutierrez.

Counted 114 with the first name Brady, but no Tom Brady. Counted 194 with the first name Jordan, but no Michael Jordan.

There are Lebron and James, but no LeBron James. There is Destiny Lebron and Sy’Air James.

Four Jeters as a first name. No, Derek Jeter. More than one Alex Rodriguez. There is a David Ortiz; alas, no Pedro Martinez.

Surprisingly, only one Geno (Ventresca of Immaculate).

Several named William Smith, but only one Zoe Slap.

All-Royalty Team I: Raheim Queen. Queena Yu. Reagan Queen. Princess Aggrey. Princess Priscilla Dilone. Princesse Ashley Hyppolite. Princesse Omotosho.

Beyonce (Philogene) says “Put a (Natasha) Ring on it.”

A (Rylan) Priest and a (Francesco) Rabbi walk into a bar ….

Savion Razor, meet Alexander Blade. Coleman Sharp as an Alyssa Tack.

Jesus Sanchez. Ella Christ.

Jessica Heaven. Carolyn van Hell.

All-Tranquility Team: PeaceSelah Lopez. Serenity Poole. Patience Tesz. Deon Dao. Hannah Tao. Comfort Boateng. Zen Blanks. Noah Paradise.

Charissma Ceasar. Christian Brutus. Et Tu (Triana)?

Jalen Ruff and Adelaide Tuff.

Emma Early. Braden Late.

Marianna Maltese, meet Arnez Falcon.

Romeo (Bibo) and Juliet (Eddy) … Samson (Reilly) and Delilah (LaRonde).

Alexander Cash. Samantha Money.

Haley Burger, Beau Bacon, Ava Fries, Jodi Pickel, extra Aizhanique Mayo. And a Isabelle Cola. (Daleily) Yum! What a (Sebastian) Treat!

Never mind. I’ll have a Goh Salad with a side of Giada Broccoli.

Koi Samples, anyone?

All-Calendar Team: Wednesday Smetak. Katelyn Friday. April Nowinski. Taiten May. June Qin. August Chickles.

All-Muscle Team: (Meshac, Tulio and Jasar) Hercules. Zu Zu Pont Strong. Brody Strong. Demetrie Strong. Fiona Power. Jack Steele.

Briana Puff, meet Aidan Puffer.

Megan Sherriff, meet Zarian Marshal.

Cristian Welcome: Faith Beliveau. Mason Hope. Charity Reid.

Those crazy B’s: Eron Biba. Alexia Bip. Logan Blow. Luke Bopp. Jack Bucko. Hollie Bomba. Anthony Bongo.

My Best Chris Berman: Matthew “Waz” Zup.

All-Command Team: Sophia Sit. Aiden Stay. Jordan Pray. Amanda Type. Raygan Teach. Joseph Read. Excel Adekola.

Ja’Shon Little, meet Pippa Large.

Evan Lovejoy. Carson Lust. Allison Lips. Alexa Kiss. Benjamin Bae.

Annika Fishlock. Grayson Key.

Chloe Yip, Samantha Yap: This is Antoine Yopp.

Zhibo Du, Meadow Do: This is Thijs Doot.

No Trump, Biden nor Obama. No Madonna. (Don’t cry, there is an Evita Shein. And a couple of Shakiras.)

All-Prez Team: John Adams. John (and Jack) Kennedy. Andrew Johnson. Zachary Taylor. Roosevelt Leon, Truman Wiate. Keyannaleiz Washington. Daejon Nixon. Henry Whitehouse.

All-Precious Team: Diamond Biggs. Emerald Michell. Tristan Pearl. Saphire Porto. Ruby Worth. Jewels Walker. Julius Silver. Riley Gold.

Derek Drab, Grayson Dull: Meet Sunshine Rangel.

Pam Win! Lackshay Dubb!

Michael Puma, Abigail Converse, Nike Stefan: Meet Michael Shoemaker.

Lilies of the baseball diamond: Martineau and Woodworth. You go, girls!

All-Dylan Bird Team: Jeremy Peacock. Madison Wren. Robin Zemlo, Strongbow Lone Eagle. Damion Sparrow. Logan Crow, Aiden Pigeon. Camden Hawk. Fletcher Heron. Isabelle Wildgoose. Kate Cardinal. Tucker Nightingale. Bella Swan. Joel Mallard. Dy’mere Lark and a Nicole Partridge in a Ava Pear, Molly Crabtree.

What? Did I hear a (Derek) Heckler?

Liberty Blanco, meet Brady Bell.

Jack Short. Cori Shorter.

Mahagonie Wilson-Little, meet Birch Whitbeck.

All-Season Team: DeLiz Spring. Acabchuk Summer. Autumn Murphy. Reid Winter.

All-Tyler Weatherwax: Rain Zheng. Benjamin Snow. Taji Blizzard. Emmie Thaw.

(Charles) Santa, Benjamin (Klaus), this is (Amelia) Rudolph.

Naomi Salami. Matt Bologna.

Mason Riddle. Can Yucel? Will Major?

Julia Bike. Jack Race. Grace First. Chloe Last.

Savor these: Michaelangelo St. Paul. The Khang Truong. Man Tran. Orion Inkley. Kittikhom Tighe. Arvid Torngrip. Akshat Tonk. Blut Taw. Tenzin Lhundup. Joleen Once. Zeynep Acun. Tong Tong Xu.

The names may sound Charlotte Strange, even a little Cecilia Bizzarro, but all names here are Joshua True. And wonderful.

Times change. There is one John Smith.

All-Country Team: Mason France. Chase Ireland. Thailand Grant. Israel Caro. Christian Portugal. Richard Carter Spain. Sean Canada. Ben England. Nicole Peru. Kasianna Denmark. Chad Cabonita. Oman Halie. India Farmer. Ben Poland. And a stretch to Angeline Solomon (Islands).

Time for a dramatic Logan Pause.

Riley Winston, meet Alexander Churchill. “I have nothing to offer but Griffin Blood, toil, tears and Justice Sweat.”

Aiden Clarity, meet Clare Link.

Jacob Lamp, meet Faith Light.

All-Royalty Team II: Prince Samuels. Prince Toney. Princeneil Pacheco. Prince Dilone. Kenziah King. Henry King. King Reddick. King Shaw. King Dorleans. Duke Quermorllue. Duke Diamond.

Stephen King, meet Roeun Kong.

JoJo Painter’s All-Color Team: Violet O’Hara. Da’Vinci Pink. Dishawn and Reshawn Blue. Derrell Redd, Achillius White. Leah Black. Hason Green. Toby Lavender. Holly Gray.

All-Brown Team: Quamell. Anjali. Xavion. Om. Nutaunis. Kobe. Jaleeq. Mazimus.

Theodore Williams. Joseph Paterno. Brendan Shanahan. Brady Quinn.

The great pinch-hitter of 2021? Konstantinos Kodonas.

Tyler Storrs from E.O. Smith in Storrs.

Seamus Lippy, Gavin Bravado: Meet Shy’Asia Wright.

Stay away from the Jack Daniels.

You’re not laughing? Do you have an Alex Pulse?

Mathew Claps.

Atticus Kaplan, meet Grace Finch.

Dream Wilson. Summer Wish.

Zephyr Parker. Elise Wind. Lucy Kite.

Erika Poe, meet the Raven (Battle).

Hannah Knuckles. Teeje Punch. Mehki Tyson-Slaughter.

Throwing everything including the Charles Sink now.

All-Cool Team: James Dean. Brendan McCool. Elijah Stan with Stylz Mitchell.

Savor These Names II: Nataly Tzampop-Perez. Michael Zapp. Grace Mombo. Eh Klu Moo. Bleart Lekaj. Kalliopi Maniatis. Eekansh Muppasani. Albana Pergjoka. Isaiah Turnipseed. Muskan Sahoo. Saiivion Littlejohn Belcher. Tirth Barochia, Nana-Poku Boakye. Fecho Lelaini. Lubaba Sharmin. Rodelin Constant. Azillia Plang. Yee-Ying Ng.

Get them all on a Quang Tat.

Rebecca and Sammy Lax don’t play lacrosse. Griffin Libero and Harrison Setter don’t play volleyball. Dylan Bambino plays baseball and Madison Pitcher plays softball.

Famous Dads: Sergot and Brandon Boone (sons of Aaron). Rowan Houston (daughter of Allan). Bethany Borges (daughter of our Dave).

Nina Coffee? Isabelle Blend, please.

Kasia Smart. Aristotle York. Matthew Yale. Jack Wise. Quentin Wry. Prince Mensah.

Tijuan Speaks. Tanner Sparks. Gavin Stops. Ethan Went. What an Andre Story!

Lita Tuba. Andrew Organ. Finn Piper. Aidan Piccolo. Lyric Knight. Symphony Smith. Medo Music. Laura Sinatra. My (Samantha) Way.

All-Outdoor: Rheanna Carmel Mosquito. Declan Bee. Frank Bear. Tyler Beaver. Caleb Beetle. Hailee Rabbitt. Autumn Wolf. Henry Lion-Gardiner. Owen Bull. Trinity Mink. Dylan Muskrat, meet Emma Love. (Bonus Captain & Tennille humor).

Savor These Names III: Tallulah Malz. Layla Lasisomphone. Luther Latch. Widberry Ledoux. Delanjo Wright. Wigner Ma. Alpha Bah. Tudor Negut. Bronson Vo. Yerson Villalobos. Rithwik Mohanty. Breckin Tuz, Dino Turk. Thor Tuozzoli. Dezarya Trusty. Fifi Staron. Yuka Tang. Penelope Wickwire. Sadie Yanks. Ranubian McNeill. Essence Medina. Serena Men. Eude Tonton. Quac Thang Pham. Sitralys Nunez.

All Interplanetary Funkmanship: Galaxy Weiss. Sam Funk. Yile Sun. Clauvy Mars. Aleatory Funkhouser. Moves like Jagger Lau.

D’eja Smalls, meet Kenny Vu. All over again.

Christian Knight in armor needs a Christian Zipper.

Chloe Lent. Tito Easter.

Tifani Eye. Camilla Lash.

All-Short Name: Jay Pan, Ab Pani, Ellen Ko, Leo Ye. Siqi Yu. Archie Yu. Vy Le. Thai Le. Max Wu. Eh Ku. Yuna Kwak. Juju Vik. JoLin Lin. Jed Liu. Stone Tran. Alex Ten. Evan Tar. Ezgi Mus. Youl Na. Nia Phu. Ryann Mo. Silas Sor. Lia Day. Eh Ler Tha. Tin Trinh.

All-Second Person: Caleb You, Andy You. Wendell Youyou … on you. That’s who.

All-No Team: Emilyn Nay. Naysaraic Santiago. NayShaun Scott. Nayrangelis Lugo.

All-Apostrophe: Baraka M’Poy. Jah’Nyah Maddox-Williams. Cy’leek Zaimoff. Yami’yah Thompson. Romain Le Floc’h. Tiona’Sky Smith. Ehk’lu Soe. J’roose Orbe. C’Yahna McKenzie-Dunn. X’hamaya Norris.

All-History: Antonio Nero. Nathan Napoleon. Ramses Perez. Trey Moses. Qingyi Mao. Anthony MarkAnthony. Ivan Alamo.

All-Literary: Dylan Thomas. Ryan Hemingway.

All-Humor: Ha Tristan Le. Dylan Laughinghouse. Diwash Pun.

All-Fast: Jy’zeyah Scurry. Sean Quick. Holden Speed. Bo Vrooman. Jet Tober. Oliver Swift.

All-Blown Coverage: Elijah Block. Emma Sack. Colby Tackling. Jacob Shook. Sarah Punt. Just give the ball to Tighe Cummiskey.

Did Bryant Mention Amelia Sicko? Take a Brady Pill. Wake up, Parker Pretty, Austin Studley and Aaliyah Polite.

All-Deadline Nightmare Team: Zainabu Ndikumana. Sopheapreaksa Um. Victoria Vozvyshayeva, Avinaash Thillaikumaran. Omar Benbouchaib. Julia Phouangphiarith. Thitida Khambounhounag. Jyothirmayee Mavillapalli. Madhuvanthi Kothandaraman. Oluwadamilola Konigbagbe.Olivia Pillow, please. We need some Zs. Zachary Zajack. Zoe Zappala. Zhiyan Zheng. Zoya Zhulkovsky. Zoe Zito. Zerach Zou. Zuzanna Zegarzewski.

Forever and ever, Amen Gill.

Drop the Amanda Mic.

jeff.jacobs@

hearstmediact.com; @jeffjacobs123


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